Anita Magdalena

Anita Magdalena

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Torment


Poem By Anita Magdalena...
First Stanza written 16/02/2011
The rest written 19/03/2011

Torment
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And there lays a torment waiting
Dormant yet creating
O to wash it from it's slumber
Before it lives and takes me asunder.


Winding and binding suffocating
consuming me with no abating
Wrapt within my weary head
My heart throbbed as it slowly bled


Bereft of hope I shut all out
Letting go of what I  doubt
closing doors as I'm unsure
Of what I'm feeling anymore


I quaff the night then find my rest
A heavy sigh escapes my chest
O my dreams release me now
Encompass me and show me how


Infinite visions there are flowing
answers to the torment growing
I then awake from my slumber
Torment lives and takes me asunder.
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17 comments:

  1. stunning imagery.





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  2. Love your rhymes though the takes me asunder line seems a little unrhythmical. Still brilliant though :D exactly why I love your poetry.

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  3. Thank you Ji :)

    Thank you Adam. Asunder was the only fitting word that came to me, the use of Old English just came as I wrote. ;) Nonetheless your critique is much appreciated as is your flattering comment. :)

    Anita.

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  4. I like the way you wrap the poem around with stanza one and the final stanza. The torment is evident - hope seems at a taunting distance.
    I can relate to this piece; I was in a similar train of thought as I wrote my piece this week.

    Thanks for sharing with One Shot great to have you!!!

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  5. Thank you Leslie, I don't know where the poem came from, somewhere inside of me, but I understand why. I love sharing my work with One Stop Poetry, it's the best. Look forward to reading yours.

    Anita.

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  6. Deep and dark, like the flow. As Adam says there's a high jinx in rhyme that I haven't got a hold of yet lol!

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  7. i think asunder rolls perfect...you conjure deep emotion with some wicked flow...

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  8. Don't go down without a fight, girl!

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  9. Thank you Brian and Fireblossom.

    I'm not one to allow torment to eat at me, I'm fighter with a strong will, I escape such emotions rather than persevere them. ;)

    Anita.

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  10. Dear Anita

    A beautiful verse.. and yes, there was a distinct taste from the first para to the latter ones... I enjoyed it a lot.

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-seed-and-senseless-living.html
    At Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  11. Bereft of hope I shut all out
    Letting go of what I doubt
    closing doors as I'm unsure
    Of what I'm feeling anymore

    wow. i can feel the vacuum sucking me in to that place where small is still too big. your words are like magic fingers that pull me in and yet somehow in the midst of the struggle, offer hope. very well constructed!

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  12. Thank you Shashi and Tolbert. "Like magic fingers" I'm flattered. :)

    Anita.

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  13. One of the best lyrical poems in terms of rhyme that I've read in a while. Quite a complex inner and outer scheme that flows effortlessly, emotionally.
    "closing doors as I'm unsure
    Of what I'm feeling anymore"
    —Very smooth.

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  14. Thank you Adam, really appreciated.

    Anita.

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  15. Love your rhymes, Anita!! They lent a superb pace to the poem!! And the cold darkness and loneliness expressed the poem was really haunting...
    Really well written, my dear..

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